Hello. We’re the two girls who wrote Two girls, One season. WANTED: Holidates on Craigslist.org.
Unfortunately, our promising ad got flagged and taken down. We reposted another ad and that got taken down as well.
As “viral” as our ad got, our love letter to eligible Holidates didn’t stay up long enough to get very many responses. We did get a lot of high-fives and mad props in e-mail form though. (thanks!)
Well, shit just got real. We didn’t spend an entire lunch break writing an ad for nothing! We want our Holidates, damnit. So now we’re positing it here—WHERE CRAIGSLIST CAN’T CONTROL OUR SOON-TO-BE-EPIC-LOVE. We may even start to document our best responses and worst responses. The blog gates have opened and we’re gonna turn this tumblr into our motherfucking holiday scrapbook. If you’re interested and a potential bromeo who wants to respond to the ad, please send us an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Also, follow us on Twitter.
Remember, no creepers and roofies plz.
Let’s cut to the chase: Holidays are the worst time to be single and some of us are just over it. We’re two single girls looking for a pair of seasonal boyfriends for Christmas and New Years and only for Christmas and New Years.
Who we are: Two mid-twenties workaholics who didn’t have time to go to bars and dig through piles of shit to find men the last 11 months. Crap, here we are single, AGAIN, and Christmas is approaching.
What we look like (we know you want to know): We’re actually really hot chicks. Like you could have picked us out of a lineup for a CW teen drama. We can guarantee you won’t have a couple of butter-faces on your arm this holiday season. We do pilates. We go on bike rides. We yoga the shit out of our auras. Our asses can rock a cocktail dress all on their own and we have legs for dayz. One of us is tall and has a bangin’ volleyball player’s bod and the other is short and petite, like a magical Christmas elf. With a huge rack.
What we want: We need two guys (preferably two in a bromance to match our womance) to stick around for the holidays. Our love will be fake, but epic. We want to make everyone jealous. We will have Christmas cards that will make your mother cry. We’ll attend each other’s office holiday parties and be voted cutest couple(s), even if they don’t hold those kinds of contests at office holiday parties. Then we’ll get under mistletoes and makeout inappropriately in front of your coworkers. We’ll wear matching sweaters. We’ll attend Cuddlefest 2011 by the fire. We’ll bake gingerbread cookies and decorate them to look like us. We’ll be like the fucking spitting image of the last 30 minutes of Love Actually.
Then we dump you. The day after New Years.
What we’re looking for: MEN! Ages 24-32. Who have a sweater collection. Owns at least one suit. And of course, funny. 75% of the things you say should just be funny. The other 25% can be a mixture of bullshit, charm, compliments, and how you don’t live with your mother. Your schedule should also be flexible—I mean come on, you gotta make time for your new girlfriends! We need men to attend all of the following: Our Office’s Holiday Party (open bar, holler!), Ugly Sweater Party in San Jose, Holiday Party in San Francisco, a holiday card photoshoot, and New Years Eve (guaranteed makeout sesh).
How to apply: Write us an email and send us pictures. Tell us a little bit about yourself, your potential rating on hotornot.com, height and build, your hobbies, why this interests you, and what you have to offer. Pictures in sweater collections are a plus. In return, we’ll send you pictures of ourselves. What we don’t want: bat-shit crazy alcoholics, men with mommy or daddy issues, men who are looking to cheat on their current girlfriends, men who are just in it for sex, and creepers. Let’s be honest, this is craigslist and we’re not looking to get roofied by our own boyfriends.
As ridiculous as our ad may sound, we’re actually serious and want to get some real responses. If this ad is still up, it means we’re still searching!