Two Girls, One Season

HOLIUPDATE

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:03:00 -0800

Ok, ok, ok, we got your e-mails people. We know y’all want an update. Did we find true love? Or at the very least, temporary love? Did Santa deliver us fairytale soulmates or coalmates?

First off, we want to thank all of our applicants. The entire holidating experience was beyond awesome—especially when our dates walked us safely home and DIDN’T try to mug us at the end of the night. Really though, the dudes that applied were gents. Men among men. They opened doors, bought us crispy champ, put their jackets over oil slicked puddles (or maybe they were urine puddles since this is San Francisco), and made it rain with wit and compliments. Bravo men!

So did we find holidates? You betcha! And we have pictures to prove it (see upcoming post). Glamazon Volleyball player found her holidate at Google. That’s right, she googled, “The Perfect Man” and they sent a brand new, knight in shining, tinseled Christmas sweater right on over.

Christmas elf *with the huge rack* landed herself a real Winter Classic. What’s better than a man who can dance? A MAN WHO CAN SKATE. Ain’t no man like a hockey man. He be holiskatin’ while the competition be holihatin’. He plowed other bros along the boards and slapshot a cupid arrow right into her heart. Thankfully, her huge rack prevented any real damage.

So how do you like them apples? We apologize for being MIA since our latest post. We’ve been busy returning our Christmas presents for store credit, getting our yoga butts back, and got caught up in an eggnog detox. But now we’re back. Ready to roll up our sleeves and write the epic saga of what happened next.

Keep checking back for more blog updates and follow us on Twitter!

"Opening doors, saying ‘God Bless You,’ and writing Thank You notes on our personalized..."

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 10:56:55 -0800

“Opening doors, saying ‘God Bless You,’ and writing Thank You notes on our personalized stationary are just daily habits. We’ve been on roadtrips, double dates, cruises, vacations, ski trips, concerts, and adventures together. One year when we both were single, we went on a Bro date on Valentine’s Day. One summer, we were on the 6 oclock news on July 4th, featuring our party boat. We even spent the night in jail together once, for allegedly robbing a bank (of course we were found innocent and let go). These are the things that makes our Bromance an unbreakable bond.”

- Bromance > Romance

We just got this in our inbox today. HOLY FUCK.

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 09:48:02 -0800

We just got this in our inbox today. HOLY FUCK.

#Holidating101

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 16:19:24 -0800

#Holidating101

"BTW we are NOT frat boys…we are creatives, artists, photographers, party-promoters, designers..."

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:56:15 -0800

“

BTW we are NOT frat boys…we are creatives, artists, photographers, party-promoters, designers and THE COOLEST MOTHERFUCKERS IN TOWN. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if our temp-love doesn’t work out but you guys are cool as shit, you can bring your new dates and come hang with us. You sound pretty epic. Worst case you’ll be friends we call to our weekly bbq’s in the Presidio.

Let’s make people say GIGITTYYYYYY

”

- GIGITTYYYY Boyfriends

"23 m. Partying is fun. I’ll be both your dates."

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:54:20 -0800

“23 m. Partying is fun. I’ll be both your dates.”

- Are you texting in an email using SMS? Because WTF.

"HotorNot.com: I’d probably say at least a solid 8. I’ve been called very handsome, a..."

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:52:13 -0800

“HotorNot.com: I’d probably say at least a solid 8. I’ve been called very handsome, a catch, and the best looking guy at wine events. My friend might be at least a 7? I don’t know, this is definitely a Gay or Not Gay situation for me to be answering that.”

- Hot or Not or Gay or Gay Not

#Holihating

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:50:00 -0800

#Holihating

"Hi, I would love to be your temporary -ate. I have no problem with you dumping me the day after New..."

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:49:48 -0800

“Hi,

I would love to be your temporary -ate. I have no problem with you dumping me the day after New Years!”

- Um, you can’t just add ‘ate’ or ‘holi’ to any word!

Am I allowed to apply as a single guy? Or do I have to have a bro?

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:45:52 -0800

A lot of guys have applied solo. We’ll just pair you up with one of them…

Uh oh, some people are making their own holiday sweaters.

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 22:44:43 -0800

Uh oh, some people are making their own holiday sweaters.

"I have a sailboat to take your parents on, and a British accent so you can be all classy and..."

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 15:16:37 -0800

“I have a sailboat to take your parents on, and a British accent so you can be all classy and traveled.”

- Bitches, Brits, and Boats

"See, I have been, for a large part of my life, a substitute boyfriend, and that is exactly the role..."

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 15:14:22 -0800

“See, I have been, for a large part of my life, a substitute boyfriend, and that is exactly the role I’m applying for today. You might be asking yourself “What is a substitute boyfriend?”. Well let me tell you! Should one of your other “boyfriends” fall sick, die, or anything otherwise preventing them from holding down their end of this fabulous arrangement, I will gladly swoop in and fill their shoes. You’ll have to tell me what size they wear though. I will fulfill any and all obligations of the aforementioned role of “boyfriend” and will only fill role as needed. Should the previously disposed “boyfriend” return, I will give a heartfelt thanks, and wish you all on your merry way.”

- Substitute Boyfriend

"i am pinky. my heterosexual lifemate is brain. i came across your article (literally) while piloting..."

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 12:30:15 -0800

“

i am pinky. my heterosexual lifemate is brain. i came across your article (literally) while piloting my deathstar around the upper reaches of the pacific northwest. and yes, to answer your question i can in fact steer with no hands.

brain and i collectively weigh upwards of 400 lbs..depending on how many guns we are carrying, we measure 6ft and 6’1 respectively when standing on each others shoulders and both have dark hair, dark eyes and bright souls. also, we love elios pizza.

i could regale you with caviar stories and champagne dreams but i’ll let our pictures do our bidding…

until then,
seacrest out!

”

- Of Mice and Men?

Girls love stationary, hand-written love letters, and...

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 10:35:51 -0800

Girls love stationary, hand-written love letters, and dick-in-a-box stick figure drawings.

Attention Holidates

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 16:56:00 -0800

First off, we’d love to thank all the great dudes (charming and creepy!) for their emails. We had a great time reading through them, filtering out dick pix, stalking all your facebooks to judge if your photos have been ‘shopped, and selected a handful of handsome, funny, and charming candiates. Seriously, why don’t you guys just sign up for the Bachelorette? They sound way more fun than us.

Our first holiday party is December 11th, so we’d like to make a selection soon. There is still time to apply, if any late bromances recently bloomed and stumbled across our page. So go to Target, purchase a set of matching sweaters, and send us your emails soon! We’re like two Cinderellas and bitches’ have curfew, son.

Ps. We’ve already gone out and met some of our applicants. We had a fuckin’ blast. Look ma, we didn’t get roofied or murdered. Huzzah.

Tweet that Shiet

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 16:16:00 -0800

We don’t really know how to use Twitter.

But we have one anyway.

"Anyways, enough emailing, give me a call and we can get down to holiday sweater related..."

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 17:50:00 -0800

“

Anyways, enough emailing, give me a call and we can get down to holiday sweater related bizness

Everlasting temporary love,
Holiday Hunks

”

- Temp Boyfriends

"I will play the part flawlessly, and I will stick to my end of the deal even if we end up not liking..."

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 17:48:01 -0800

“I will play the part flawlessly, and I will stick to my end of the deal even if we end up not liking each other. Knowing that - if chosen - this would end amicably on a specified day is about the most comforting thought I’ve had in a while. This sounds like a pretty fun experiment; it’s like a one-man flash mob.”

- The One-man Flash Mob

"We’ll flirt with your boss or totally neg that bitch (your choice)."

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 12:54:54 -0800

“We’ll flirt with your boss or totally neg that bitch (your choice).”

- We’re on Team Holiday Girlfriends